We’re now about halfway through our flight from Hong Kong to Limerick, and I thought I’d just let you know
B O R E D.
We are, unbelievably, STILL flying over Russia, which continues to be stupidly big. Really enormous. Far bigger than necessary. We’ve been in the air now for about a WEEK. And it doesn’t look like we’ll be landing until the last syllable of recorded time.
So if anyone on board knows any card tricks, ghost stories, or would like to have some SEX, please do make your way to the flight deck. Thank you.
Uh, ladies and gentlemen, I do— I do profoundly apologize for my first officer and his badly misjudged attempt at humor. I do hope you won’t distress at his outburst and let me just say in his defense that up here in the flight deck it is UNBELIEVABLY BORING.
So very, very, very, very boring!
- Carolyn: What are you doing this time?
- Douglas: Books that sound more interesting with the final letter knocked off.
- Carolyn: What have you got so far?
- Douglas: "Of Mice and Me" and "Three Men in a Boa".
- Carolyn: Ah, ah. "Far from the Madding Crow".
- Douglas: Oh, very good, we'll have that, and what's your new one, Martin?
- Martin: "The Hound of the Baskerville". I've taken the 's' off!
- Douglas: Almost good. Certainly better than when you took the 's' off "The Mill on the Floss", to make "The Mill on the Flos".