Do you know why Arthur thinks polar bears are brilliant? He's not paid or anything. He likes it. He gets off on it. The more polar bears there are the more gets off, and do you know what? One day just thinking they're brillaint won't be enough. One day we will all be on a flight to Qikiqtarjuaq to view polar bears and Arthur will be the one who put them there.
"That’s what we do. We alert crew to emergencies, not with the convenient intercom in the galley but by furtively whispering the names of Disney characters at each other. “Donald Duck” means ‘lethal bird strike’; “Dumbo” means ‘pilot’s dropped his magic feather’; “Shere Khan” means ‘tiger in the flight deck’ ... "
We’re now about halfway through our flight from Hong Kong to Limerick, and I thought I’d just let you know
B O R E D.
We are, unbelievably, STILL flying over Russia, which continues to be stupidly big. Really enormous. Far bigger than necessary. We’ve been in the air now for about a WEEK. And it doesn’t look like we’ll be landing until the last syllable of recorded time.
So if anyone on board knows any card tricks, ghost stories, or would like to have some SEX, please do make your way to the flight deck. Thank you.
Uh, ladies and gentlemen, I do— I do profoundly apologize for my first officer and his badly misjudged attempt at humor. I do hope you won’t distress at his outburst and let me just say in his defense that up here in the flight deck it is UNBELIEVABLY BORING.
Martin: Arthur, describe to me exactly what happened when you left the flight deck. Arthur: OK. Wow, this is brilliant. Martin: It’s not brilliant! Arthur: It’s a bit brilliant. Can I tell you in my own words? Douglas: Who else’s words had you planned to use? Winston Churchill’s? Arthur: No, but they always say, “Tell us in your own words the events of the night in question.” Martin: Just tell us!
“I decided early on there would be no mention of the S word, or indeed the H word, still less the ‘E, MDW’ phrase. But that didn’t mean there couldn’t be, maybe, a couple of sly references… Benedict was an incredibly good sport about it all, especially given the audience was full of Sherlock fans. Though he did give me quite a look at the first read-through when we got to ‘Wow, Skip! You’re just like Miss Marple!’”—http://johnfinnemore.blogspot.com/2011/07/stage-direction-ding-ding-ding-ding.html (via huayuxiezuo)